You might be a pastor if…

I have never seen this list.  The “family reunion offering” owns me.  Tell me what you think.

  • You hesitate to tell people what you do for a living.
  • You’ve ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover you were.
  • You’ve ever wondered why people couldn’t die at more appropriate times.
  • You find yourself counting people at a sporting event.
  • You’re leading the church into the 21st century, but you don’t know what you’re preaching on Sunday.
  • A church picnic is no picnic.
  • You jiggle all the commode handles at the church before you leave.
  • You’ve ever spoken for free and were worth every penny of it.
  • People sleep while you’re talking.
  • Instead of getting “ticked off,” you get “grieved in your spirit.”
  • You’ve ever been tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.
  • You read sermons to your kids at night instead of bedtime stories.
  • You’d rather talk to people with every head bowed and every eye closed.
  • You’ve ever wanted to “lay hands” around a deacon’s neck.
  • You often feel like you’re herding cats rather than shepherding sheep.
  • Your greatest joys have been in the church.

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